Every Rosewater Has Its Thorn

First of all, congratulations to design chief Mark Rosewater for completing his nearly decade-and-a-half quest to bring poison back to Magic. He must have felt like some kind of badass last weekend as planeswalkers across the land got the toxic beatdown. Kudos!

Unable to leave the Looter Grotto for a pre-release, I had plenty of time to consider the aesthetics of poison delivery. So, if you're not feeling the stock "green swirls" poison counter, I have a couple of options for you. First, straight cash poison:

Yeah, homie, you just took damage from one of my bugs, so take the money.

Here's what it looks like to be rich and dead:

Here's the poison money PDF for your printing and cutting pleasure. I could only fit six on a page at the proper size, so you're going to have to print two if you actually want to close the deal.

But if you're an infect connoisseur with a flair for the dramatic nothing compares to the relentless ticking of the Inkwell Looter Poison Clock.

This is gonna look sweet in that little alcove in the downstairs hallway ...

... but should we be concerned about the snake hand?

*URK*

And here's the PDF for the clock, with some hastily written instructions included. Even if you can follow the instructions, you really just need to figure out a way to stick a clock hand on a clock face in a way that it rotates nice and smooth.

NOW GO FORTH, INFECT AND PROLIFERATE!