Phyrexian fashion invasion

Contagion Clasp (original card art by Anthony Palumbo here)

This card has given me a fearsome bout of Johnny-itis. I badly want for those pincers to hold together an abusive proliferate machine but so far it's amounted to toothless, counter-diddling nonsense. If you have to play me in the next couple of weeks, please understand, it's a sickness. Try to summon a little patience for those of us who must Grindclock + Bloodchief Ascension. Just close your eyes and think of Jace. Victory will be yours shortly.

Oh, and here's what that lil' bastard looks like with a face:



Speaking of counters, Adam Richards sent me these photos from a Scars of Mirrodin release event at PBKW Comics in Cornelius, NC:

 

That's Jason Hargett (of screamingenergy.com) uncomfortable with his sudden wealth of Phyrexian poison bucks. Thanks for sending the photos, guys!

Venser, the Sideburner

You just subtracted eight loyalty from your pretty-boy planeswalker but your opponent barely flinches. What's with this guy? Has he not read Venser? Does he not comprehend the inescapable control cocoon in which he's been so thoroughly wrapped?

No. You need to drop the emblem:



BOOM! Target opponent just proliferated in his pants.



Here's a high-resolution PDF. Don't ultimate Venser without it! And for those late to this whole party, here's an Elspeth emblem for ya too.

More like Cute-refax

Chimeric Mass, Fume Spitter and Putrefax (original card art by David Palumbo, Nils Hamm, and Steve Belledin)

This isn't the first time I've noticed a subtext of monstrosity romance in a new set. Or maybe it's just me. Scars of Mirodin certainly has a high percentage of creatures that look like wads of gum rolled in trash. Nothing wrong with that.

This week while I was daydreaming about hot, sloppy, horror-on-horror action I got a package of awesome items from Dan Tharp of Card Kingdom including this bonkers playmat and set of clockwork squirrel tokens by artist Joe Vollan. Check it out:



Whaaaaat? Dan, Joe, you guys made my week!

That's all I've got for now, but more Scars fun is on the way. Otherwise, if you want some high-quality, cute-as-hell plant tokens to aid in the avenging of olden Zendikar, those are still quite available.

Every Rosewater Has Its Thorn

First of all, congratulations to design chief Mark Rosewater for completing his nearly decade-and-a-half quest to bring poison back to Magic. He must have felt like some kind of badass last weekend as planeswalkers across the land got the toxic beatdown. Kudos!

Unable to leave the Looter Grotto for a pre-release, I had plenty of time to consider the aesthetics of poison delivery. So, if you're not feeling the stock "green swirls" poison counter, I have a couple of options for you. First, straight cash poison:

Yeah, homie, you just took damage from one of my bugs, so take the money.

Here's what it looks like to be rich and dead:

Here's the poison money PDF for your printing and cutting pleasure. I could only fit six on a page at the proper size, so you're going to have to print two if you actually want to close the deal.

But if you're an infect connoisseur with a flair for the dramatic nothing compares to the relentless ticking of the Inkwell Looter Poison Clock.

This is gonna look sweet in that little alcove in the downstairs hallway ...

... but should we be concerned about the snake hand?

*URK*

And here's the PDF for the clock, with some hastily written instructions included. Even if you can follow the instructions, you really just need to figure out a way to stick a clock hand on a clock face in a way that it rotates nice and smooth.

NOW GO FORTH, INFECT AND PROLIFERATE!

Attention Khalni Gardeners

THESE ARE NOW SOLD OUT, but you can still download and print your own here.

I had these plant tokens done up by a professional printer. Bright color, heavy paper, rounded corners ... the works. They're real nice. I gave a bunch away at GP Portland but have leftovers. So I'm selling them here while the gang is still Khalni gardening and avenging Zendikar.

The meta-game

How many will you spot at your next major Magic event?



... but seriously, I had a fantastic time at GP Portland, playing cards and meeting people. I was going to write up a comprehensive report laden with wit and misplays but it's a week after the fact and Scars of Mirodin is breathing down my neck and I'm going to let a snide bingo card be the statement.

Dream big, little Jace.

Even the mightiest of planeswalkers has to start somewhere. Based on Ryan Pancoast's original Mind Control card art.

And in unrelated news, I got a bunch of these plant token business cards printed up real nice: